Toy Purge

Posted on May 6, 2013 by lifehappenswhen

I think the nesting instinct might have kicked in just a little this weekend. You didn’t find me wiping down a nursery or washing little boy onesies, though. Oh no.

I decided to take on the out of control toys.

I swear that the toys in our house multiply overnight. I rarely buy my kids toys. They’ve been gifted some wonderful things and they’ve been the recipients of lots of hand-me-downs, but I’m also pretty militant about what I allow into the playroom in the first place.

I realized the other day, though, that I’ve let the toys take control. And that makes me feel terribly out of control, like the walls are closing in on me.

I’d say by some people’s standards, I’m already a toy minimalist, but I believe there’s still plenty of work to be done. The tell-tale sign for me that there are too many toys around is when my kids, despite having plenty of toys to occupy them, are so totally bored that they need me to entertain them.

I took a good look at the playroom the other day and made some observations. Aside from things being strewn everywhere, there wasn’t a whole lot of actual playing going on. Instead it was lots of fighting between the two of them. Lots of begging for me to play with them. Lots of “I’m bored,” “Can I watch a show?” “Can I play on my LeapPad?”

I decided it was time for an intervention.

Without the kids realizing it, I filled three paper bags with toys to donate. I also filled half a trash bag with broken toys/missing pieces, etc.

I put a few toys in each of their bedrooms. I took a bunch of toys to the basement for safekeeping (to rotate later) and brought up the trains and tracks for a change. I put the blocks and Legos in clear view.

I put all the boy and girl dress up clothes in a big bucket that they can play with whenever they want, but have to get in the habit of putting away correctly.

Because this is their idea of putting toys away:

Finally, I let Lucas go through some toys and decide whether he wanted to keep them, give them away, or put them away in the basement for his baby brother. He did a pretty good job and I was pleased with what he decided.

Except for this one Little People police car. He never plays with it, but every time I’ve tried to get rid of it in the last year, he acts like the very idea has broken his heart.

“Are you sure you don’t want to give this to someone who doesn’t have any toys? Another little boy might really enjoy it.”

“No, it’s my favorite toy.”

“Lucas, I don’t ever see you play with it. I only see it sitting in this bucket.”

“That’s because I only play with it on Wednesdays.”

Needless to say, the police car made the cut. He still hasn’t played with it, but I’m sure all that will change on Wednesday.

At any rate, I’ve already seen significant progress. The kids entertained themselves for hours yesterday.

The walls have given me some breathing room.

And the intense desire to nest went away just in time. I almost mopped the kitchen floor. That was a close call.

All those baby clothes will wash and hang themselves, right!?!

Life happens when we de-clutter.

Computer Tales of Woe {Not Real Food Friday}

Posted on April 26, 2013 by lifehappenswhen

You guys!?! My computer hates me.

I don’t know what is going on. Admittedly, my mother knows more about computers and technology than I do, but still, something’s amiss here.

I had a very long post about my real food “must haves” that has taken me all week to write. Perhaps this is a sign I should edit it a bit? I mean when my computer will actually let me back on without shutting down every 5 seconds.

Right now, I’m using my sister’s old laptop that is, well, old. I’m very appreciative that she let me borrow it, but I just don’t have the patience to type much more than this post on here.

Anyway, Mike and I have a BIG weekend planned, and I’m giddy with excitement about it. I’m not going to lie, Life Happens When and all my computer woes are going to be taking a backseat.

And on Monday? We celebrate a certain adorable little girl who lives in our house. She’s as sweet as she is surly. She’s as much of a mama’s girl as she is fiercely and (defiantly) independent.

She’s a princess, a girly-girl, a mother hen. And yet, her hair’s always a wild mess, she has bruises on her knees, and she’s as tough as nails.

She worships her big brother and spends all day following right behind him, hanging on and then repeating his every word. She plays cars and trains and ball with him passionately because she loves him so much and wants his attention. She hugs him. She bugs him. She knows just how to get under his skin. But, the instant he asks her to play with him, she swiftly says, “No.”

She’s giggles and tantrums and joy and frustration all rolled into one. A beautiful little mess that I thank God for every single day as I tuck her into bed.

On Monday? My girl turns 2. And we’re having a very special edition of “Monday Family Fun Day” in her very honor. Stay tuned for more on that…

Until then, I’ll be wasting away in non-alcoholic Margaritaville, if that gives you any indication of what the hubby and I are up to this weekend.

I hope you have a lovely weekend, too.

And although this is certainly not the greatest need in the world, could you guys say a little prayer that my computer survives this glitch and all my precious pictures and videos remain intact? Thank you, kindly.

Life happens when we step away from our computers and LIVE!

Ain’t Nobody Got Time For That…

Posted on April 24, 2013 by lifehappenswhen

Every time I get the hair-brained idea to make a new recipe from scratch, I’m always really excited about it at first.

Lately, my kitchen has been an eruption of flour, sugar, yeast, cocoa, vanilla, and all kinds of other sugary, not exactly “real food,” but still from scratch goodness. My countertops have also been covered with fresh fruits and vegetables, various herbs and spices, and locally raised, grass-fed ground beef. Organic chicken. Farm fresh eggs.

Coconut oil. Almond oil. Olive oil.

Vinegar of many different varieties including white, balsamic, apple cider, and white wine.

And gelatin. For homemade marshmallows, of course.

It’s usually about halfway through one of my adventures (or really, misadventures) that I stop and think to myself, “Ain’t nobody got time for that.”

Two hours into a homemade loaf of bread, my mind starts racing with all the better ways I could have spent that time.

After cleaning up the kitchen for the fifth time that day, I start feeling just a little bitter about my new lifestyle.

As I bandage up another sliced finger or tend to another burn to my skin (or tongue), I start thinking that cooking isn’t for me.

As I bite into a highly anticipated homemade meal only to be thoroughly disappointed, I’m ready to call the whole thing off.

But, I won’t do it. It’s become far too important to me. And it’s totally worth it to know I’m providing my family with safe, wholesome, real meals (and treats).

I was never taught how to do anything productive in the kitchen and it’s taken me nearly 31 years to realize just how important this particular set of life skills is. In this fast-paced world we live in, we’ve spiraled into a place where we equate value with how fast and cheap we can come by things. But, cooking meals and treats from scratch provides my family nourishment and enjoyment in a way that fast food and frozen meals can’t.

It’s not easy with my littles constantly underfoot. It’s not easy with my husband’s work schedule. It’s definitely not easy with my complete lack of talent when it comes to cooking and baking. But it’s worth it to me. (Lest you start thinking I’ve got it all figured out, remember we still eat out and we still eat processed foods some of the time. Moderation, right?)

What I’ve come to learn is that it’s okay that over half my cooking attempts end up in failure because some of them have been successes! In fact, my husband recently complimented me on several of the meals that have made it to our dinner table (and he wasn’t even referring to my Homemade Hamburger Helper!).

It’s okay that I rely on other people’s recipes. Where else am I going to learn? And I’ve learned a lot!

It’s okay that it takes a little longer to make an entire meal from fresh ingredients. It’s even okay that I have to spend a little more money on those ingredients (we certainly save it by not eating out as much).

Eating food that has been minimally processed has become my life’s mission for myself and my family.

I definitely have time for that.

Your mission in life may not have anything to do with food, but surely there’s something you value above everything else. Are you making the time for it? Or are you making excuses? Are you guilty of saying, “Ain’t nobody got time for that?”

Make today the day you reset your priorities.

Life happens when we make time for what’s important to us.

Forget Perfect

Posted on April 23, 2013 by lifehappenswhen

I’ve mentioned before that I have high expectations for myself. I often expect perfection.

I expect it in myself, but also in the world around me.

This past Easter, I got it in my head that I wanted the “perfect” family photo. We were all dressed up in our Easter best and I wanted to preserve the moment.

But, the wind was blowing fiercely.

Caroline didn’t want anything to do with anyone that wasn’t her Grammy.

Lucas was too giddy with excitement to be at his cousin Jacob’s house. The last thing he wanted was to be stuck taking pictures.

My hair had a mind of its own. Nearly a year later, it’s still recovering from the torture I put it through.

After about 2 dozen clicks of the camera, my hormones and my emotions got the better of me. I may have thrown a little tantrum.

THIS was all we could come up with:

Exasperated, I gave up. But not before making a fool of myself and pouting.

It didn’t take me long to realize how silly the whole thing was. Really? We had traveled to be with family that we don’t get to see nearly enough. We were celebrating Easter, the very reason we even have LIFE. The kids had even miraculously behaved at church. We were about to have an egg hunt and dinner together before heading back home.

So what? My family didn’t cooperate for a picture. Big deal. That’s life.

A few weekends ago, I decided to have a small family dinner to celebrate Caroline’s birthday. Her birthday is officially on the 29th, but between Mike’s schedule and some things we already had planned, that was the only free weekend. I decided to forgo a big party and just have Caroline’s grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins who are here in town over for dinner. Including our little family, that was a grand total of 16 people.

I was so excited to have a smaller party because I was actually able to stick to my “real food” mission a little better than if we’d had a bigger one. I made homemade meatballs and spaghetti. I served it with a fresh salad, fruit, and dinner rolls from scratch.

I had it in my head that we would all sit down together and have a nice, warm, happy dinner in honor of my baby girl. It was going to be perfect. Idyllic. Old-fashioned.

Except the day was beautiful and I could hardly keep everyone inside.

And some of our guests couldn’t make it right on time.

And everyone scattered to different locations to eat.

It was chaotic and loud. Everyone was laughing and chatting and having a grand old time.

Everyone except me. I stood in the kitchen, pouting and making some more spaghetti noodles.

As I stirred the pot, it dawned on me how silly I was being.

So, the family dinner didn’t live up to the one I’d planned in my head? Everyone seemed to be enjoying themselves. Everyone was impressed that I’d made most everything from scratch. Everyone kissed and loved and squeezed on the very happy birthday girl.

It was a beautiful day filled with family. It was as close to perfect as we’ll ever get.

I’m not exactly proud of my own personal behavior at these two events, but I’m glad they happened just as they did. I came to a very important realization.

Perfect is good and all, but it doesn’t actually exist.

Real life is messy. It’s loud. It never goes as planned. There’s always someone who’s running late or won’t cooperate. Someone’s bound to be tired and cranky. There’s back-up plans that must be executed and unpredictable weather. But there’s still something pretty beautiful about that.

Rather than focus on what’s wrong with the picture or how something should’ve been, we must refocus our energy on all that’s right. All that’s beautiful and lovely. We must embrace life as it is, not as we wish it could be. That’s the sure-fire ticket to happiness.

Life happens when we forget perfect.

What’s Holding You Back?

Posted on January 23, 2013 by lifehappenswhen

I have a rather silly confession. In fact, when I told my sister, she cracked up laughing at me.

I was lamenting how I didn’t really have all that much of a social life. We have a couple of really good friends who we have playdates with, but other than that, I don’t do much at all.

I can’t do much.

I know I use my husband’s work schedule as my number one reason for lack of a life, but it really is one of the biggest hinderances. That, and the fact that I have a 4 year old and a 20 month old who go to bed early. My life is so much easier when I keep them on their schedule.

I am blessed to have family eager to help out, but even that’s hard to work out sometimes.

I know, I sound super lame right now. That’s not even my confession.

My sister, in her sisterly way, was giving me a bit of grief. She named four or five things I could be doing to get out there and be social. The majority of those things had childcare built in or were at a time when my mom could easily watch the kids.

Excuse after excuse rolled out of my mouth.

“I guess I’m really just the anti-social type. I always have been. I really just think I’m better off by myself. I’m always tired, anyway. I can’t ever come up with anything to say to people I don’t know. I’d rather just use that time to get errands done.”

And then came the worst one of all.

“Plus, I hate my hair.”

Amused, my sister asked what my hair had to do with anything.

“Well, I hate it. I can’t figure out how to do anything with it. I have all these pieces that are broken off from the super awesome time I dyed my hair gray. And I’m afraid to do anything else to it, so now I am sprouting for real gray hairs at a frightening rate. And my hair just looks like crap.”

At this point, my sister’s chuckles turned to hysterical laughing. My feelings would have been hurt if it had been anyone else, but I’m used to it from her. I expect it, really.

“So, you’re telling me that you won’t go anywhere because you hate your hair?”

“Umm, yeah.”

“That’s ridiculous. Have you seen my hair?”

“I know it’s dumb. I can’t help it.”

I honestly don’t even know how our conversation ended, but it left me thinking.

I’m pretty lonely. Even with the few times a week that we get out of the house, I still feel isolated. I realized on Tuesday morning, as I drove the kids to Mother’s Day Out/Preschool that I hadn’t left the house since Saturday. And that was only to go to the grocery store.

Is my hair really what’s holding me back? To be honest, yes and no. I’m really unsatisfied with how I look right now. I’ve discussed this a few times over the last year, and really very little has changed. There are a lot of things I wish I could change about myself, but most of it comes down to my hair.

Honestly, if you knew me when I was seven, you’d realize how far my hair has come from the stringy, perm-ladened mess it once was. And I’m probably way more self-conscious about it than I should be. Still, I hate it.

There are other things holding me back, too. Fear of rejection, my social awkwardness, and money to name a few.

This week, I’ve challenged myself to a few things.

First, I made a hair appointment. I’m not sure what I’m going to do, but I’ve realized that I can’t do it alone. I need serious help. And if my hair is what’s truly holding me back, then I need to do something about it NOW.

Secondly, I put two things on my calendar that are both social and out of my comfort zone. Honestly, I could let the days fade in and out without ever leaving my house. It wouldn’t really bother me at first. But, after three or four days, I’d get a little crazy. Planning social activities isn’t something that comes naturally to me. I literally have to MAKE myself be social.

Life is passing me by, and I’m tired of it. It’s time to fight against the things that are holding me back.

Perhaps there’s something holding you back, too? Fear, anxiety, worry. Feelings of inadequacy. Time. Negative thoughts. Lack of direction. Your hair? (No, just me?)

It’s time to fight against the things that are holding YOU back.

Take some time to really think about it. What’s holding you back? Why? Get to the root of the problem (bad hair pun totally intended). Make a change. Set some goals. Challenge yourself out of your rut.

And if you have any hair suggestions, I’m all ears!

Life happens when we stop letting things hold us back.

Right Is Right

Posted on January 17, 2013 by lifehappenswhen

Yesterday, I stumbled across the following post on Facebook, and it really resonated with me.

Source

The more I think about the world we live in, the more disheartened I feel. As a people, we are lost.

We’ve forgotten the importance of kindness, respect, and good manners.

We’ve forgotten the necessity for rules and consequences.

We have become self-centered. We think we’re entitled.

We’re lazy. Irresponsible.

We follow our hearts and our own agendas, and assume we are right.

We threaten to sue at the drop of a hat. We don’t fulfill our obligations. We go back on our promises.

We don’t think anything applies to us.

I have a mother who taught me right from wrong at a very early age. She couldn’t have cared less what my friends were doing. It didn’t bother her that people thought she was strict, overprotective, old-fashioned, and even a little odd.

She didn’t care that I thought she was mean.

By gosh, she made sure I was kind. So kind that she demanded I invite a certain girl to my birthday parties that everyone else in the class ignored. When everyone else refused to sleep near her, my mother made sure I offered to share my sleeping bag with her. All of that with a grin on my face.

That experience is something I think about almost daily, some 20 years later. I assure you I was kind to that girl through gritted teeth as a child, but as an adult, I am flooded with empathy for others because of her.

My mother taught me respect and good manners, mostly by modeling those behaviors herself. It never occurred to her that I should “fit in” with my friends or that I needed to learn how to socialize with them. All that mattered to her was that the adults of the world didn’t mind my presence in a room.

My life was defined by rules. And consequences when those rules were broken. Did I break rules? Of course. But not very often. And never the same rule twice.

I wasn’t allowed to be self-centered. My mother surely slapped the entitlement right off my face, if ever I showed it.

She raised me to take responsibility for myself and my actions. She expected me to get an education and become a productive citizen of the world. She expected me to admit my wrongs and to right them.

My mother taught me to always assume I’m wrong. I’m certain I just heard a collective gasp throughout the Internet. In this day and age, that’s near to child abuse. And you know what? Living life assuming I’m wrong IS hard. It’s hard because everyone else assumes they are right. I’ve been taken advantage of more times than I can count. I’ve been burned by enemies and friends alike.

But, this line of thought creates a person who constantly puts other people first, who tries her best not to offend others, who avoids rifts, and would rather die than hurt someone’s feelings. Is that really such a bad thing?

Somewhere along the way, I realized I was mistaken. My mother wasn’t mean. My mother was smart. What’s worse? She was right.

My mother has amazing follow through. She always fulfills her obligations. She never makes a promise she can’t keep. She’s taught me to do the same by example.

That’s why I’m raising my children the same way she raised me.

That’s why they’re learning respect, kindness, and good manners. That’s why they have strict rules and consequences at such a young age.

I’m not saying I’m perfect. I’m not saying my kids are, either.

But by golly, even in this mixed up, broken world, when it seems like everyone else is doing whatever they want and getting away with it, our little family will do the right thing.

In fact, that’s one of our mottos. Do the right thing.

It certainly isn’t the popular thing to do. It definitely won’t be easy. I’m sure people will think I’m crazy. I know my kids will think I’m mean. That’s okay. There’s very little in life that comes easy. And I know without a shred of doubt that one day in the future, my kids will have the same awakening that I did.

Everyone else might be lazy and irresponsible. They may be rude and selfish. They may assume they are the exception to this rule or that one. They may drop the ball over and over again. But just because they are doing something wrong and somehow getting away with it, doesn’t make it right.

Wrong is wrong, even if everyone is doing it.

Right is right, even if no one is doing it.

Life happens when we do the right thing.

Secret Generosity

Posted on December 12, 2012 by lifehappenswhen

Last week, my four year old asked if we could count the money in his piggy bank. My mom had given him a couple of dollars and he wanted to see how much was in there. We headed up to his room, and he quickly shook all the money out.

I didn’t even think to take a picture of Lucas with his piggy! This is apparently the only time I’ve ever photographed him with money! He’s barely 6 weeks old. Awww!

I watched as several dollars slid out alongside pennies, nickels, and quarters. But then, a larger bill caught my eye and took me by surprise. Among the ones and change, I spotted a $20 bill.

Where in the world did that come from?

I must have asked the question out loud because Lucas shrugged and said, “I don’t know.”

Immediately, I started racking my brain. Who would have put $20 in my son’s piggy bank? I was baffled, but also stunned by someone’s very sweet and completely unexpected generosity.

I texted my sister-in-law, thinking perhaps she or her husband left Lucas a treat when they stayed in his room over Thanksgiving, but neither of them did it.

I asked all the other likely culprits, but so far, everyone’s denied it.

The night before the feast of St. Nicholas, the kids and I watched VeggieTales: St Nicholas- A Story of Joyful Giving. We learned, alongside a young St. Nicholas, that Jesus wants us to do kind deeds for others in secret.

Oh how the chills ran up and down my body!

I have no earthly clue why someone decided to plop $20 in a four year old’s piggy bank. I have even less of a clue why no one wants to fess up to it.

All that aside, however, what a neat thing to do.

It got me thinking about some things I could do in secret for others, too.

God sees our good works and rewards us for them. There’s no reason to boast or brag or put on a show about the generous ways we help others. We must be willing to do a good deed because it’s the right thing to do, not for the fame or the recognition. We must learn to bring happiness to others rather than look for what’s in it for us.

Our true reward will be the eternal one.

I’m incredibly grateful to whoever gave Lucas such a thoughtful gift, but I’m more thankful for the lesson we gleaned than the money. What started as a simple activity turned into a teachable moment for the both of us. Lucas and I have some big shoes to fill, and we’re scheming some fun ways to be secretly generous.

It doesn’t have to be anything expensive or outlandish, but I challenge YOU to also do something for someone else without letting them know you did it.

Life happens when we do good deeds in secret.

God Always Knows

Posted on December 3, 2012 by lifehappenswhen

It seems that God and the Internet have plotted a conspiracy against me. My Internet is down and it won’t be fixed until Wednesday at the earliest.

I’m not in the least bit surprised by the timing. Sunday was a very difficult day for me. I can’t really even explain why, but it was. Life sort of piled up on me and the weight of it was crushing. I could hardly breathe.

I got out of the house for awhile, but only to take Lucas to a friend’s birthday party. I’m glad he got the opportunity to run around like crazy with his friends, but I’d have prefered to curl up in bed.

Every night, after I put the kids to bed, I find myself sitting in front of the computer. I write, and my heart is at peace. All the day’s frustrations slowly escape with each finger click. I’m not doing anything wrong by using these child free hours to write. In fact, I’d argue that those precious moments from 8:00 until (sometimes) midnight are healthy and much needed for the stressful days I put in raising two little ones.

With all the time writing, however, I’ve neglected other things that bring me just as much serenity and peace. Rather than watch a sappy Hallmark Christmas movie, I write. Rather than get lost in a book, I write. Rather than pour a warm bubble bath, I tap, tap, tap on the keyboard.

More than anything, rather than spend some quiet time with the Bible and with God, I write.

All this time in front of my computer has been great for my writing, but it has also made me edgy and irritable. I go to bed late and wake up early with the kids, so I’m in cycle of grumpiness.

I see how several days without the Internet at my disposal is a much needed blessing in disguise. Not so I can do more laundry or dishes. Not so I can make sure the house is immaculate. Not so I can wrap Christmas presents. Not even so I can go to bed before midnight (though I might).

This time away from the Internet will allow me to unwind in other ways. I might even find myself writing anyway, but I’ll actually be able to concentrate on the writing (and finishing). I won’t have Facebook and Twitter and other blogs to distract me.

This time away is just what the doctor ordered. And it’s what God prescribed.

Well played, God, well played.

See ya on the flipside when my Internet is back up and running.

While we’re on the subject, perhaps this might be a good time for you to give up something that’s distracting you, as well.

Life happens when we take time to relax and unwind (away from the Internet).

P.S. If you’re wondering how I managed to publish this without Internet, I wrote this at my sister’s house last night. Isn’t the Internet grand? Except when it’s not. Please excuse any typos, I wrote this fast and without the hours of proofreading that usually take place.

Children Of The World

Posted on November 19, 2012 by lifehappenswhen

When I was 9 years old, I saw the following commercial. Do you remember it?

I can tell you without a shred of doubt this commercial changed me. I was a happy, carefree nine year old just moments before the commercial aired. I saw it and my bleeding heart was broken. I gathered all the money I could find and begged my mom to call the 1-800 number on the screen.

She tried everything she could to distract and redirect me. We found ways to help others in our own community. But, every time a commercial like that came on, I wept uncontrollably and begged her to let me sponsor a child.

I never did it, but the desire stuck with me for two decades.

This past summer was a difficult one for me. Life had piled up on me and I could hardly breathe. Aside from the challenges and emotions I was up against, I also faced a spiritual drought. I quit going to church, too. Every time I tried to take the kids by myself (because Mike worked every weekend), I always left angry and frustrated, usually halfway through.

As I’ve learned many times over the years, when I give up on my faith, the rest of my world falls apart.

One Friday night as I cried and tried to fall asleep, a million thoughts raced through my mind. Among them: “I need to go to church.”

I arranged for my mother in law to watch the kids so I could go to church for the first time in over two months.

It’s not uncommon for me to be emotional at Mass. There are many songs that comfort me and make hot tears spring. Often one of the readings moves me to tears. Sometimes a homily stirs my soul enough to make me cry.

After being away for so long, everything made me weep.

As the priest began his homily, I felt a little deflated. It was a visiting priest, and I knew he would ask us to give money to a cause close to his heart.

What he asked us to do instead was sponsor a child.

At that point I became almost hysterical. Of all the times and all the places, God finally put me where I needed to be so I could do what He’d always wanted of me.

I chose a little boy from Chile who was one month older than Lucas. I guess he touched me the most because I could see my own child in him. I thanked the priest for opening my heart and removing all the things that had kept it closed for so long- selfishness, greed, doubt, fear.

I kept the little boy a secret at first. I knew he wasn’t exactly in our budget. For the first time ever, I’d done something that required real sacrifice.

I often think about Mark 12: 41-44. From our world of plenty, it’s easy to buy presents for the Angel Tree. It’s easy to donate clothes to Goodwill or St. Vincent de Paul. To buy a toy on our way out of the store and place it in a donation bin. To hastily drop some change here or there. It’s easy to give out of the extra money we have, after we’ve paid all our bills.

When I finally admitted to my husband that I’d sponsored a child, he was only slightly serious when he teased, “You are never allowed to go to church by yourself again.”

I promised I’d be the one to do without. I’d find ways to scrimp and save. I assured him that our basic needs would still be met. And deep down, he already knew that.

The other day, we received our first letter from Luis. It was written by his mother since he’s too little to write. We received her original handwritten letter in Spanish along with a typed translation. My husband and I were both in tears as we read the letter. We could feel his mother’s gratitude. I’m pretty certain we’ll be “raising” him.

As you could probably guess, my spiritual thirst has been quenched. Sometimes giving to someone else is all it takes. Sometimes finally doing something that’s been on your heart for ages will do the trick. Almost always, it’s when we remove ourselves from the things of this world and focus on people that brings us back to the light.

With the whirlwind of the holidays upon us, I’m asking you to truly consider your family’s needs versus their wants. I’m asking you to strip away the selfishness and the greed that comes with living in a first world country, a land of excess.

I’m not really asking you to do anything in particular. There are hundreds of worthy causes, especially around the holidays.

What I am asking you to consider is this:

For the cost of a brand new iPad, you could sponsor one child who is living in poverty for a year.

For the cost of a Leapster or LeapPad, you could buy a goat to help a family in Latin America or the Caribbean break the cycle of poverty.

For the cost of a new bike, you could send a child here in America home each weekend with a backpack full of food.

For less than what it would cost to stuff one stocking, you could provide nearly 100 meals to hungry children in my own backyard.

Think about that as you race from the Thanksgiving dinner table to get in line at one of those chain stores. Think about that as you scurry here and there, knocking people over in the process, to score that one thing your child (or whoever) really “needs.”

Think about it as your shopping list grows and your patience wears thin.

Think about it as you bake cookies with your family. As you overindulge on food and drink and desserts. As you scrape your uneaten food off your plate. As your children lose interest in that “must have” toy they opened only hours before.

There are children in this world, in this country, in your city who would give anything to eat the scraps off your plate. Who’d give anything to unwrap a package of brand new underwear. Who’d love nothing more than your child’s discarded toys.

By all means, celebrate the season. Give gifts. Spread joy and cheer to those you love. But this Christmas, I challenge you to dip deeper into your pockets than you ever have before. Find a way to truly give. Don’t just give out of your surplus. Give with all you have.

I’m pretty sure that’s what Jesus would want for His birthday. Don’t you?

Life happens when we give with all we have.

The Mysterious And Mighty (And Mothers)

Posted on November 16, 2012 by lifehappenswhen

A few weeks ago, my mom and I chatted on the phone. She was out walking and I could hear the wind and her breath as she talked. She went off on some tangent and I caught myself rolling my eyes at her. I love my mother to pieces, but sometimes she gets on my nerves.

The eye rolling is nothing new. I’ve been rolling my eyes at her since I was about 12. But for some reason this time made me stop and think. I suddenly realized that I wasn’t doing a very good job honoring my mother at that moment.

I’ve been feeling so guilty lately about the way I treat my mother- sometimes to her face, oftentimes behind her back. She is one of the most caring, generous people I know. She’s always in my corner. And she’s first in line to help when I need something.

We’ve had our fair share of disagreements and drama, but my mother has always been my biggest cheerleader. When I told her about my blog, she said I was “quietly making noise.” She has a slight phobia of the Internet, but when I wrote my “I’m Not Sorry” piece, my sister made her read it.

The other night, my mom told me that as soon as she figured out how to leave a comment on my blog, she would write the following:

“When you share your words, you change the world.”

Some words I wrote years ago found their way to someone who really needed them recently. They were words I never intended for anyone to see, an unpolished and emotional tribute to a beloved teacher from high school who had died.

Thanks to a mysterious Internet and a mighty God, my teacher’s daughter found them. She’d been having a horrible day and was missing her mother fiercely. Something prompted her to “Google” her mother’s name and there she found some comfort on my “secret” and very old blog.

Thanks to a mighty Internet and a mysterious God, a friend of mine from high school contacted me to tell me what had happened. As it turned out, my teacher’s daughter shared my post on her Facebook wall as what she was thankful for that day. My high school friend connected us and we were able to talk a little back and forth.

My heart aches for her, but what actually broke my heart was when she said, “Sometimes a girl just needs her mom.”

What this woman would give to have her mother standing in her kitchen as my own mother was in mine just a few short hours ago. What she’d give to have her mother lecture her or give her unsolicited advice. What she’d give to hear her mother carrying on about some seemingly insignificant thing.

I’m completely overwhelmed and humbled by the magnitude of God’s power and love. He gives us what we need at precisely the moment we need it. She needed comfort. I needed humility. She needed something that would remind her of her mother. I needed a reminder that I still need my mother.

I can’t even begin to understand how it must feel to lose a parent. The thought alone knocks the breath out of me. We can’t fully understand God’s plan for us or the ones we love, either. We won’t know how our stories end (or begin, really) until we meet again on the other side.

All of our days are numbered. It’s a hard pill to swallow, but it’s so very true. Perhaps the greatest lesson I’ve learned through this is that the ones I love deserve the best of me. They deserve my smiles and affection, my laughter and attention. They deserve to know just how much I love them.

They deserve less eye rolls and more eye contact. They deserve less cold shoulders and more warm hugs. They deserve to know just how much I need them and want them in my life.

The next time I see my mom, I’ll be first in line to hug her. To tell her how thankful I am for her. To thank her for always being there for me and loving me (eye rolls and all). To thank her for teaching me to change the world.

For those of you who may be missing your mother today, I know “I’m sorry” just isn’t enough. There’s no way I could ever take away your pain, but I humbly offer you my prayers and the promise that I’ll (try to) not take for granted the beautiful gift of my mother.

Life happens when we honor our mother.

Life Happens When

embrace the moment

Category Archives: Predicaments