When skinny jeans became the next best thing, I didn’t love them. In fact, I hated them. Over the years, I’ve come to not only accept them, but kind of sort of maybe want a pair of them.
I’ve tried many different styles for many different body types from many different stores, and I’ve just had to face the fact that I will never be able to wear them.
From the outside looking in, I’m sure they look fine. But for me, staring at myself in the mirror, I do not feel comfortable in them.
I’ll also never be able to fix my hair beyond a woefully unfashionable ponytail or a mediocre straightening job. Not because I don’t care about looking presentable, but try as I might, I can not come close to mastering even the most basic of styles.
I’ll (likely) never have the latest version of something techy, such as the iPhone. My three-year old 3G phone still does the job for the most part. It may be cracked and the apps no longer work and my friends and family tease me about it, but I’m mostly okay with that.
I’ll never make it through a sappy movie without crying, even if it’s one I’ve seen a million times and/or is super hokey.
I’ll never (if I can help it) see the movie before reading the book. Period. End of story (ha!).
I have a dry sense of humor. What makes me laugh doesn’t always make everyone else laugh.
I’ll never be able to listen to Martika without grieving the loss of two of my cousins (one by death and the other by sad family drama). What? You’ve never heard of Martika? Prepare to be transported directly to the 80′s!
I’ll never be able to stop loving Martika, even though I’m only one of three people who’ve ever heard of her.
I’m not all that great at small talk, and I’ll probably never be.
I’m terrified of public speaking.
I will always be an INFJ. I’ve taken the Myers-Briggs a dozen times through the years, and my personality type has never changed.
I sometimes lack common sense. I could possibly be labeled “ditzy.” And by “sometimes,” I mean more often than not. And by “could possibly be labeled,” I mean I am.
I truly wish I could solve the world’s problems. I spend many hours, lots of sleepless nights, many prayers, and lots of tears agonizing over how to ease the pain of those who are hurting and suffering. I try to do anything in my power to help make things right for them- be it the children of the world or my broken-hearted best friend.
I’ll always feel frazzled and stressed out when I’m super busy. And yet, I’ll always feel most alive when I’m super busy.
I’ll always be a procrastinating perfectionist. Oxymoron, perhaps, but I’m living proof that they do exist!
I will always be Catholic. I’ve tried to run away, but I always come back home. I’ve tried to resist, but I’m more at peace when I comply. I’ve tried to stop believing, but I can’t not believe.
I will love deeply and with my entire heart always. If I can’t love you with my entire being, I can’t love you (though I’m trying/learning to).
I have lots of grand ideas and action plans, but usually lack the follow through on them.
The thing is, we all have things about us that make us who we are. We have different personalities and body types and ways of looking at the world.
Maybe you can fit in skinny jeans! That’s awesome! Rock them with pride! Maybe you’re always first in line for the new iPhone or latest gadget. That’s great! Technology can help you move mountains! Maybe you love wearing the latest trends, trying new hair styles, and putting your eyeliner on just right. Embrace that talent (and puhlease come help me!).
We are who we are for a reason, and it’s time we start appreciating all the little quirks that make us tick.
Maybe one day I’ll actually feel confident in those skinny jeans. Or maybe one day the “just rolled out of bed” ponytail will be all the rage (not the fake messy one, but the I literally just rolled out of bed to feed my three children and now I’ll never be able to shower because I have three kids one). Or maybe one day (by the grace of God), I’ll be standing in front of a crowd, speaking calmly and with poise.
I’m likely to change a million times through the years.
Until then, I am at peace with who I am, right now, in this moment. I’m hopeful that you are in the same place, but if you are not, I hope that you will be someday.
Life happens when we make peace with who we are right now.