There’s something that I really want right now. It’s something that I’ve planned for and decided that I’m ready for.
And friends, I’m just not getting it.
What it is that I want doesn’t really matter (although I’ll let you read between the lines). Chances are there’s something you want right now, too.
In times like these it’s easy to start placing blame. It’s easy to feel angry and bitter. It’s easy to question God and His plan for our lives. To start throwing our adult sized tantrums.
Why God are you allowing me to suffer? Why God are you denying me what I want? How does this fit in to my grand scheme of life?
As I’ve dealt with frustration and some deep sorrow these last handful of months, I’ve also experienced a few revelations.
This suffering is pale in comparison to the ultimate sacrifice Christ made for us all. If we want to unite ourselves with Christ, we have to be willing to suffer. But the suffering isn’t in vain. Our pain strengthens us and brings us closer to God. How we react to our suffering is what really defines us. What we learn from our trials is what shapes who we are.
Secondly, God only gives us what we can handle. I’ve heard this so many times in my life. When people are hit with hardship after hardship, I often wonder why God thinks that any particular person can handle that much pain. But, that’s not for me to know.
For reasons I don’t completely understand, God has placed this trial (albeit a small one in comparison to others) in front of me. He knows that I can handle it. He knows that I’m going to grow from it. He’s using this time to form me into who He wants and needs me to be.
Just the other night, though, something deeper hit me. My husband jokingly accused me of being melodramatic, but I was (and still am) serious. If God only gives us what we can handle, then he doesn’t give us what we can’t handle. This is the obvious, but often overlooked flipside.
In our society, we are used to instant gratification. We want what we want when we want it. And we get pretty riled up if we don’t get it precisely when we think we should. Many times, we get so worked up about what we want that we often forget about what we already have.
This was such an incredible revelation for me. One that I really needed to be slapped over the head with.
All this time I’ve been selfish. I’ve been annoyed because I haven’t gotten what I wanted in what seems like the right time. I’ve cried simultaneous tears of anger and grief. I’ve questioned and accused my loving God. I’ve gotten so wrapped up in the waiting and hoping and wanting that I’ve completely overlooked the blessings right in front of me.
I have so very much in my life (and frankly, I have enough as it is). I have been blessed beyond measure. It’s time to embrace my life right now with all its joys and challenges rather than wish myself into a new chapter. And let God take care of the rest in His plan and perfect timing.
What about you? Are you waiting for or wanting something, too? Are you having trouble understanding God’s plan? Don’t forget, He always answers our prayers, but not always in the ways that we hope for or want. The best thing we can do is put our trust in Him. He knows what’s best for us.
Life happens when we have faith.
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