Are you the type of person who thrives around people? Do you always have one social gathering or another on your schedule- playdates, girls nights, dates, double dates? Do you easily strike up conversations with friends and strangers alike?
If so, you are awesome.
Me? I could go weeks and only talk to my husband, my kids, my mom, and my sister. I’m not completely socially awkward, though. I can make friendly conversation with the cashier at Target. I smile politely at the other moms at preschool or the park. The kids and I go on playdates with friends.
But when it comes to initiating social activities, I usually don’t. I don’t mind doing things alone. And many times, I’d prefer to just stay home, anyway.
This is fine most of the time, but getting together with others is important, too.
There’s a mom in my neighborhood who recently had her second baby. They attend the same church we do and we’ve become acquaintances through some committees and ministries there. Even though we live just a few blocks from each other, we’ve never done anything outside of church.
I happened to see her pulling out of the neighborhood one day and a very foreign thought crossed my mind: “I should call her and see if she wants to go walking one night.”
This thought could not possibly have been my own. While I’m rarely the invitee (social recluses aren’t high on invitation lists for most gatherings), it’s even rarer to be the inviter.
I let the thought slide to the back of my mind and carried on normal life for a few weeks. Still, every time I turned in to the subdivision, I remembered her. Last week, I finally worked up the courage to text her. While texting has many, many disadvantages and I would normally not extend an invitation so informally, it worked for this situation.
A few hours later, she texted back. “I’d love to go walking with you! Thank you so much for asking me. I’ve been really struggling lately and I think this will be great!”
We walked about 2 miles that night. We chatted with ease. We realized we had some similar issues. We laughed. We decided to start walking together once a week. Before we went our separate ways, she thanked me again for asking her. “I really needed this,” she said again.
Sometimes we get so wrapped up in our own little worlds that we forget to reach out to others. Maybe you are like me and you get nervous and uncomfortable in new situations. Maybe you are too consumed by work or other priorities to even think about adding something else to the mix. Maybe you already have a gaggle of friends and you think you don’t have the time or energy to gain a new one. Maybe you’ve let a friendship fall to the back burner for one reason or another.
Obviously, life happens. But when we get so consumed with ourselves, we miss opportunities to make someone else’s life brighter, to make an acquaintance a friend, to find and/or give support and encouragement.
Is there someone you could connect with today?
Life happens when we reach out to others.
© 2012, lifehappenswhen. All rights reserved.
You’re not alone — I’m definitely an introvert, and can easily ignore the social requests of most of my friends, instead choosing to stay at home with a book, or go for a short run alone, or… well, do just about anything, *alone*. But in the same way that some extroverts really have to put into their schedule “stay at home, relax, don’t go out”, we introverts sometimes have to accept that little push to do something outside ourselves/our normal home ‘bubble’. (For me, currently, it’s even easier, what with living alone). I’ve definitely felt that nudge – the “thought that could not possible by my own”, which you put so well. Good on you for accepting the nudge and going with it.
Okay, so we ARE different in this one way.
I thrive on social interaction, especially with likeminded Catholic women. If I had a best friend or sister or mom that fit that description, perhaps it would not be the same. But, maybe it would. My entire life I’ve been a leader, an organizer, an inviter. Just this morning three new women showed up to our parish moms’ group because I invited them! (YAY!) On the other hand, I can also be a little bit private and have a hard time going really, really deep in friendship, and that is something I’m working on. Good post, and good for you!!
Great post! I’m just like you. I really enjoy spending time with friends but I never initiate anything because I’m ok just being at home. I’m happy just talking to my husband and baby. I have to remember that I need to make an effort sometimes too because otherwise my friends are hurt by my “absence”.
How wonderful that you reached out to that mom! Sounds like you were just what she needed.
Case in point: the priest with whom I do Morning Prayer. We’ve become really good friends and it’s totally not something I would have ever imagined happening.
Oh my…Leanne! I love this! I am soooo very content to be home with my children and my husband. I talk on the phone with my sisters and that is about all. I am very friendly with the other mothers at school and soccer games. I just prefer to be home with my loved ones. At times, I do think of others and how I could and should reach out. My father recently became a resident at a local nursing home. I do enjoy visiting with the other residents when I visit with him. Maybe this is my answer? I just think this post really speaks to me! Thanks! Have a great day, Leanne.
Awesome! Thanks for sharing a great reminder.
I can definitely relate to you for sure, and it looks like I’m not the only one! It sounds like we have a similar personality – great post and great reminder to be open to the seeds God plants in us and step outside the comfort zone!
Pingback: Love Thy Neighbors (Or At Least Check In On Them) | Life Happens When