Well, another week has come and gone. Did you notice that I was kind of MIA this week? And maybe a little last week? No? Yes?
Well, life has really been happening lately! Unfortunately, this means time away from the good old Internet. It has felt glorious to truly be engaged in real life.
Now, if I can just figure out how to balance that and my blog, life will be just grand. Without further ado, here are my quick takes for the week.
Did you have a chance to read the first post in my “Life Happens When” guest series? Jen shares a beautiful reflection on a bittersweet moment when life happened for her. Be sure to check it out!! If her story doesn’t give you some perspective on motherhood, I don’t know what will!
Do you follow Simcha Fisher at the National Catholic Register? If you don’t, you should! This week, she wrote a powerful and poignant post called, “I always thought I wanted a big family, but…” That mom she talks about? The one who always wanted a big family, but now has a 3 year old and a 1 year old and is slowly losing her mind? That’s me.
Well, Simcha doesn’t actually know I exist, but seriously, that’s me. Before I had any kids, I wanted 5 kids. After having 1 kid, I decided I could probably only handle 4. After having 2 kids, I don’t think I’m capable of having more than 3 (maybe no more than 2).
I found this article so inspiring and so encouraging. I don’t have a lot of time for putting things in perspective during my day between the incessent screaming of a certain 17 month old who is lucky she’s so darn cute and the endless questions and commentary from my curious, nosy, too smart for his britches 3 year old. This article certainly helped. And reminded me that when it is all said and done, I’d probably regret not having more babies.
If you are a mama with little ones, read this. If you are a mama at all, read it. If you are one of my few male readers (Hi, sweetheart!! I’m talking to you!), read it! Your wife will love you for it!
Simcha, by the way, has 9 children. NINE.
Speaking of the above topic, I feel like I’ve kind of been hit over the head by it over the last few weeks. At the ARISE conference, Kimberly Hahn shared something sort of similar to what Simcha said. When asked how she managed to have 6 kids (by mothers who only have one or two small children), Kimberly always replies, “God gave me the grace to have them. I got the grace to have my 6th child when I had my 6th child, not when I had my 1st.”
As you might have guessed, I am struggling these days with a busy little preschooler and a stubborn (and loud!) toddler. They are wearing me out! I love my sweet Caroline to pieces, but this screaming thing she’s got going on is slowly sending me over the edge. She’s probably teething. She’s probably frustrated because she is learning her words. She’s probably frustrated because she wants to be big like her brother. She’s probably frustrated for all the reasons 17 month olds are frustrated. I totally get that.
But the uncontrollable screaming has GOT TO STOP!!! Great, now I’m screaming!
This week, I had the opportunity to sub in the younger 2 year old room at the kids’ school. The room was right next door to Caroline. It was fun in a hectic, “what the heck did I get myself into” kind of way. But it also gave me another nice little dose of perspective. How does God always know just what we need?
There in front of me were a bunch of 2 year olds- some of them not that much older than Miss Caroline. Even as wild as they were, they brought me some clarity and peace.
Soon enough, my little girl will be able to move like she wants to, talk like she needs to, and be more independent than she already is. In just a few short months down the road, this stage we are in will be over. Oh sure, we’ll move on to some new challenge, but this one will be long gone.
Caroline only took a 45 minute nap yesterday. Aside from the screaming, she is also very clingy. She wants to be held a lot. I try to hold her when I can, but I can’t hold her all day long. I wouldn’t get anything done and I’d go crazy.
Yesterday, though, I knew she really just needed some momma time. I grabbed her from her crib and sat down with her in the rocking chair. She isn’t really a cuddly kind of girl and doesn’t normally want to be rocked. But yesterday, we sat together and rocked for a good 30 minutes. Her eyes fluttered, but she never quite gave in to sleep. Still, she sat peacefully with me the whole time.
Just before I decided to stand up, I looked down at her to find her looking up at me, softly mouthing something over and over again.
“Momma. Momma. Momma.”
Which brings me to my newest goal(s) for myself as a mother:
When I find myself getting ready to snap, I’m going to take a deep breath and say a prayer.
When all I want to do is scream or pull my hair out, I’m going to give a hug, a kiss, a cuddle instead.
I’m going to embrace my kids for who they are in this moment. Isn’t that what this journey is all about?
Can you relate to any of this? How do you cope?
Life happens when we embrace our motherhood.
For more quick takes, head on over to Jen’s!
© 2012 – 2013, lifehappenswhen. All rights reserved.